Inappropriate times to Text - For fun

I just twittered about a Police officer texting while riding a Segway and realized that I was too critical. People have just not learned where it is appropriate to text. So as an aid to society, I am compiling a list of inappropriate times not to text others. Everyone is aware of the consequences of texting while driving a car (train or plane). I will highlight some of the often overlooked items:

1) While sitting on the toilet - do you need a picture or do I have to explain this one?
2) while landing the lunar module - duh, no cell towers!
3) while being intimate with your significant other! I bet you want a picture - it is hard enough to get the correct symbols for emotional content. Heaven forbid you get the wrong combination and your partner finds out - Warning! Will Robinson Warning! (exception 1 - if your partner is texting also, it is OK; exception 2 - if you are texting each other, it is not OK)
4) while running a chainsaw - too difficult with work gloves.
5) while water skiing - it detracts from your attempts to look good.
6) while eating any sticky foods - the damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn keys might get stuck.
7) while skydiving - the force of the wind might slam the device into your face.
while playing Rugby - results in too many knock ons.
9) while at a Rugby party - you never want to miss any part of a Rugby party. Besides God gave you two hands, both equally equipped to hold a pint.
10) while in Church - unless you are texting God. (Please if you have God's address, please advise via text; also, it is perfectly acceptable to respond to any text message at anytime from God)
11) while scoring a TD on Monday Night Football - Yes T.O. that means you (However, if you can tweet "I Scored", consider how it will give the NFL commissioner something to do!)
12) while hang gliding - you may drop it on the head of a native who thinks that it is a gift from God. Thereby declaring all communication forever forward must be by texting. We have too little conversation as it is - SHUT THE DAMN THINGS OFF!!!!!!

If you have any other inappropriate times to text, please respond to this with a comment, THANKS!

Copyright 2009 - Jim Lindell