Coaching

Being a positive person is a gift. If you do not have this gift naturally, then you must work hard to change your viewpoint from negative to positive. Let me provide a simple example. In the world of accounting in which I grew up, people often debate whether costs are variable or fixed. When costs are fixed, there is a good chance that they will be ignored because people believe they cannot impact fixed costs. However, we know that in the long run all costs are variable. This means that all of the decisions to incur any cost resulted from some choice at some point in time. Our personal lives are similar to this concept. We can look at situations as being happy situations or unhappy situations. Unfortunately many people choose to look at the unhappy situations as if they are fixed. Once they have deemed it as fixed or unhappy, they may choose to remain in the unhappy situation because they believe that it is unchangeable.

Our universe has a basic rule that for each negative there is a positive and vice versa. A coin has two sides: heads or tails. It is either night or day. Our attitudes, our outlook on life work in the exact same way. Decades ago there were management plaques hanging in the office that said, “Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?” The first stage in overcoming negativity is simply by changing your viewpoint. It is easy for us to dwell on the negative. It is hard work to look for the positive things. Can you remember the movie, “The Sound of Music” when Julie Andrews sang, “these are a few of my favorite things?” The concept of the song was to remember the happy or favorite things to help turn around your attitude. In the Bing Crosby film “White Christmas,” he sang the memorable song of “Counting my blessings.” As long as you have life, as long as you can move forward, you have a chance to emphasize the positive in life. By doing so you will enjoy life much more and you will find opportunities that you never believed that existed.

Copyright 2010 - Jim Lindell

From http://cbs3.com/health/Health.Alert.Stephanie.2.1877150.html Stephanie Stahl

Teenagers are becoming addicted to texting, according to a new study. In fact experts are saying being hooked on texting can be like being addicted to drugs...

The average teen sends 3,000 texts a month....

"It clearly fits the criteria of an addiction," said Dr. Gary Small, a Psychiatrist....

Neuroimaging studies show the same brain areas are stimulated with both texting and using heroin....

Some texting addiction warning signs include losing track of time because of excessive texting, neglecting eating and sleeping, having a constant need for more, and suffering negative repercussions, like ignoring others or lying because of texting....

"What they like to do is text, rather than talk. So if you call them, they go 'mom why didn't you just text me, why did you have to call me?'" said Cara Steninberg, a mother.

In many of my blog entries, I have raised the concern for loss of focus. The obsession with texting will continue to erode our ability to focus and accomplish important tasks. This problem will continue to impact our workforce as a "texting" generation becomes the next wave of employees.

(c) 2010 - Jim Lindell

This past weekend I was catching up on some yard work and had to burn some old wood. As I threw wood into the fire, I noticed several insects flee from the heat on the edge of the board toward the cooler center of the board. Obviously, this path determined their final outcome. I also noticed a couple of grasshoppers that leapt off the board. One of them landed outside the fire ring and went on its’ way to safety. The relationship to today’s economy and business managers is easy to spot. Managers that take the path of least resistance and flee from danger may inadvertently seal the fate of their organization by failing to act. Nimble business managers that confront the problems that occur may experience difficulties but they will be taking action to salvage the situation.
Does your organization:

1) Confront problems or do you avoid them?
2) Have a process in place that forces you to take action?
3) Know how to “cut your losses?”

Remember, no decision is a decision. Step up and take your best action, right or wrong, you will determine your success or failure as opposed to having fate decide the outcome.

© 2010 Jim Lindell

Many individuals struggle with the issue of forgiving others but not being able to forget the original hurt. The above continuum shows 4 levels on the forgiveness scale (forget, recall, nurse, remember) and the relationship to healing or hurting. When the original hurt is constantly remembered, the pain does not disappear. When the individual’s memory has been triggered by an event that the original hurt is recalled, he/she has an option to either dismiss the memory or to relive it and in essence bring it back to life – re-experiencing much of the original pain. If the memory can be dismissed, the healing can continue. The original forgiveness takes place between the “recall” and the “nurse” stage. When an individual is able to truly forget the original hurt, the pain is eliminated and the healing is complete.

Many times you can identify what stage a person is in based on the way he/she describes the memory.

• Forget – “Oh, I don’t even remember that you did that.”
• Recall – “Yes, that is true but we were able to work it through.”
• Nurse – “That time that you called me a “blank”, it still eats at me.”
• Remember – “I forgave them, but I haven’t forgotten!”

The secret to moving along the continuum is the individual’s own freedom of choice. Victim thought patterns will keep a person at the remembering or hurting side of the continuum. Acceptance thought patterns will move a person toward the forgetting and the healing side of the continuum.

We cannot change the past, but we can change the future.

© 2010 Jim Lindell – Thorsten Consulting Group, Inc.

The making of a great leader is the successful combination of many skills. The illustration depicts two main characteristics: people skills and technical skills. When a leader has neither, they are a complete failure (as a leader). Too many times people are placed in positions where they are destined to fail. It is obvious where they are lacking to everyone but those responsible for the placement, promotion or appointment. With serious mentoring/training/coaching and a willingness to learn it is possible for them to become a successful leader.

When leaders lean too much to either people or technical skills, a couple of things might happen. Too much people emphasis can lead to a feel good culture without accountability. Too much technical emphasis can lead to a sterile environment that lacks any caring or compassion.

Ultimately, the great leader is a balance of people and technical skills. The great leader is comfortable using both areas to move an organization towards its goals. What sets the great leader apart from the merely adequate leader is the gift of conviction. Conviction is the unshakable belief without need for proof or evidence. In many ways it is similar to the rudder that steers a ship. Without conviction, an organization is rudderless. Great Leaders provide the following:

• Conviction
• Vision
• Belief
• Passion

These qualities will inspire other members of the organization to action. Any company that desires to be successful must have the balance in leadership (people / technical) and the qualities above. An individual that aspires to be a great leader must incorporate all of the above.

© 2010 – Thorsten Consulting Group, Inc.

Don't criticize others - there is no such thing as constructive criticism! Listen to the brief podcast.



Copyright 2010 - Jim Lindell
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Answer quickly:

Who was the 20th President of the USA?

What were the original seven ancient wonders of the world? (No, it's not Yul Brynner or Toshiro Mifune)

American Football has its' origin in what sport? By the way the sport that originated American Football had its' origin in what sport?

The first "Tonight Show" host was?

Who conquered the entire "known" world?

Sunrise

If you do not know the answers, please look them up. The significance is that great achievements are lost to time. Whether it be riches, accomplishments, glory, etc. They all fade. What is really important? Your family, your friends, your ability to help other individuals, your gift to leave this planet and its' inhabitants in a better state than when it was given to you. In short, you are a steward of the gift of life. You have been given this opportunity, live it well, live it fully and maximize your contribution to all those around you.

Copyright 2010 - Jim Lindell

Our culture has seen a significant increase in the use of coaches. In addition, there has been a significant increase in the different types of coaches. When people use the term coach, we typically think of a sports coach. This entry will discuss the essential characteristics that are necessary for the coach and the “coachee” to achieve the desired goals.

Many people would like to be a coach. Everyone thinks they have the skills to be a coach. Unfortunately many individuals that find themselves in the coaching role or desire to be a coach will never be successful in that role. There are four key areas that a successful coach must have:



• Knowledge
• Experience
• Ability to inspire
• Ability to teach

When it comes to coaching knowledge, there are two types of knowledge that can be addressed: 1) learned or book knowledge, 2) practical knowledge (which is typically gained through experience.) To adequately coach another individual, practical knowledge is more essential. The coach must be versed with techniques and formal knowledge which typically comes from the educational/learning environment. If a coach only possesses learned knowledge, he may be accused of the ivory tower syndrome.

A coach that does not have the experience will have difficulty providing the key wisdom and counsel along with the practical application to the student. Do you remember the Charlie Brown cartoon where Charlie Brown is teaching someone how to stand on their head? Linus comes up to Charlie brown and questions him saying, “Charlie Brown, how can you teach someone to stand on their head when you can’t do it yourself?” Charlie Brown replies, “Those who can’t do, teach.” Now I realize that this is an offensive statement, but in all forms of humor there's some underlying truth. A coach without the experience will not be as successful. It is important to note that some successful coaches can replace other types of experience for the task that they are coaching and be just as successful. This is one of the reasons that major corporations will hire a CEO from outside of their specific industry.

The ability to inspire other individuals is essential. A coach that cannot inspire other people to action is at a severe disadvantage. About the only individual that will work well with this type of coach is the person that is 100% self motivated. The vast majority of people do not have the skill set to continually motivate themselves all the time.

A coach must have the skill to transfer their knowledge and their experience to the person that they are coaching. In essence they must be an outstanding teacher. If a coach cannot teach, they will fail miserably. This ability to teach others also means the ability to understand that each individual has different learning styles. A one dimensional coach that continually uses the same approach will eventually fail.

As we consider these four attributes, all of them are essential for the coach to be successful. However the last two characteristics: inspiration and teaching ability are an absolute necessity. The next characteristic is experience. The last item is knowledge. Remember that practical knowledge is more important than formal knowledge. One caveat needs to be mentioned. There are certain professions like Physicians, Attorneys, or Tax CPAs, where the formal knowledge is an absolute necessity. Otherwise most non technical positions can be coached with experience or practical knowledge.

Now we will consider the person that is to be coached. There are also a set of characteristics that are essential for this individual to be successful. The four characteristics are:

• Desire
• Practice
• Ability
• Coachability

Any student that does not have the desire to accomplish the goal will most likely fail. Each student must understand that the accomplishment of a goal begins with one thing and one thing only - their decision to make a change. Without desire, a goal just remains a dream.

The next characteristic is practice. Whether it is a student doing their homework, an athlete preparing for a game or a match, or an executive preparing for a board meeting or a negotiation process, practice is a must. It is important to note that each person chooses to practice in a variety of ways dependent on their individual style. It is rare that a person can achieve a specific goal without spending the time practicing.

The student must have the ability to accomplish the goal. This is not to put a limit on the individual. However there are times when individuals are placed in positions that the only logical outcome is failure. They fail because the task or the goal is so far beyond their ability. Therefore it is essential for the student and the coach to recognize the ability as well as the untapped ability to make sure that any goal selected is within the reach of the individual.

The last characteristic is the student’s coachability. If the student is not willing to listen to other individuals, to take advice from other individuals, to listen to criticism from other individuals, he will have a difficult time being successful. Anyone who invests time coaching other people knows the pleasure of a student or an athlete that is coachable. It is very typical that when the coach describes this individual to other people he will state that the student, the athlete or the executive is wonderful because they are coachable.

If you would like to make a self assessment of your coaching skills or your ability to be coached, take the four key characteristics under either section, and rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 would indicate excellence in the particular characteristic; a 1 would indicate very bad performance. Also imagine how another individual of your choice would rate you on the same characteristics. Many times when we put ourselves in the shoes of someone else and envision their rating of us, we will see a natural difference. Sometimes it's more important to understand what we believe are the perceptions of others as opposed to our own self assessment. For any item that you wish to improve upon, I recommend that you take the following three steps:

1) list one thing that you will do to improve this area over the next 30 days,
2) list one thing that you will do to improve this area over the next 60 days,
3) and finally list one thing that you will do to improve this area over the next 90 days.

As a result your coaching skills or your ability to be coached should improve in the very near future.

© 2010 - Jim Lindell

Anchors can help you get ahead in life as opposed to slow you down! There is a concept in NLP which when used appropriately allows an individual to "anchor" behaviors to their body. We are all familiar with the concept of tieing a string around the finger to remember something. We can use the same concept to "trigger" emotional states, behaviors, etc. If you are having trouble with anger, you can use an anchor to remind you to "count to 10." If you are afraid to deliver a public speech, you can "trigger" a previous behavior, such as patience or confidence to help you counteract the nervousness or fear. The process can be accomplished as follows:

1) determine the action that you would like to trigger (i.e. calmness)
2) mentally picture a time when you were very calm
3) close your eyes and relive that calm time
4) choose a location (i.e. elbow) to anchor the calm feeling
5) touch the elbow and "lock" the calm feeling to the elbow
6) just prior to a time that creates the nervousness touch your elbow and remember the calm feelings.
With a little practice, you should be able to capture any of your past behaviors and be more successful.

By the way, this also works in reverse. Each of us must be careful to avoid bringing up bad prior experiences or behavior. It is just as easy to trigger the behavior that we do not want.

Copyright 2010 - Jim Lindell

It is troubling to observe a conversation when two people are talking and neither is truly listening. The exchange of information is limited at best. There is a separate problem when one of the individuals is in “rebuttal” mode. Their individual capacity to learn and grow is greatly diminished.

To improve communication and learn the “golden nuggets” of wisdom from someone else, do the following:

1) SHUT UP
2) Listen without judgment
3) Reject the need to give a rebuttal for each point that you disagree with
4) Accept the “golden nuggets” of wisdom and learn. Even if the point is not exactly on target, some derivation of that information may lead you in a new and wonderful direction.
5) Remember – you can’t be listening when you are talking!

© 2009 – Jim Lindell

How are you participating in the Social Media revolution? When was the last time you Pinged your Twitter so that it landed on your Facebook? My how our language has changed.

In Socialnomics by Erik Qualman, he states the following:

Why is there even a need for social media? In less than three years, it became the most popular activity on the Web, supplanting pornography for the first time in Internet history. Even search engines weren''t powerful enough to do that.

It is time to get up to speed (including myself). Check out the article by Mary Mekelburg, Social Media Strategist/Coach to advance your understanding and usage of social media.

Copyright 2009 by Jim Lindell

Hear ye! Hear ye! This entry is dedicated to the Accountants of this world. If you have never completed a personality type profile, I encourage you to try the Myers-Briggs test at http://www.humanmetrics.com/#Jung%20Myers-Briggs

The typical profile for an accountant is an ISTJ (Introvert Sensing Thinking Judging). In my seminars across the country I have found that approximately 75% of the accountants follow this trait or have 3 of the 4 characteristics. Here is the interesting part – any time that I have run into an INFP or an ENFP, I have asked them “Do you like your job?” In all cases they say “no” or that they have modified their job to fit their personality type. The lesson? If you are an accountant and you are an INFP or ENFP, I am willing to bet that there is a better profession or opportunity for you. If this is you, feel free to give me a call and we can chat.

© 2009 – Jim Lindell

In the business world, there have been times when I have struggled with a decision. Normally, it is very easy for me to make a quick, decisive decision. I have then been amazed, when on occasion, that I have second guessed the original decision. Here is what I have learned. Deep down, I wanted to choose the other direction, but for some reason chose the other option. I also noticed that there was a “little inner voice” that had counseled against the chosen alternative. Now, I embrace the inner discussion and listen very closely. I listen for the “inner voice” attempts to rationalize a particular decision. The rationalizations are pointing out the direction that I really would like to follow. Instead of struggling over the decision, I embrace the direction of my inner voice. Does this mean that I always make the correct decision? NO! However, I am more comfortable with my decisions and am more accepting of the results – positive or negative.

Next time you are presented with options that require a choice, listen to the arguments that your inner voice makes. That voice will provide the roadmap for your decision. Follow that direction! One exception to this philosophy is to recognize when your inner voice is directing you to do something that does not align with your personal values. If your inner voice is directing you to do something that conflict with your personal values, tell your inner voice to “go jump in the lake” and then do the right thing!

© 2009 – Jim Lindell

You are contemplating hiring an executive coach for yourself or for your staff members. What should you consider before hiring a coach?

The first consideration is what is your goal?

1) Is it the development of the "whole" person?
2) Is it to develop a specific skill set?
3) Is it to correct specific problems?

Each of these three will have different approaches. The longest, most fulfilling and far reaching is the development of the whole person. This can also result in an on-going coaching relationship. Coaching to develop a specific skill or to work on a problem is typically a time limited approach.

The second consideration is the appropriate match between the coach and the coaching candidate. This will involve analysis of:

1) existing corporate culture,
2) personality complement between coach and candidate,
3) skills of the coach,
4) experience of the coach (by the way, executives in transition sometimes believe that coaching is easy and as a result will experiment on coaching candidates. This is negligence in practice.)
5) and cost of the coaching service (any coach that insists on extended timeframes is thinking of their cashflow and not the coaching candidate).

The selection of a coach is an important decision. Interview, check references, and match the appropriate coach for the appropriate candidate and circumstance.

Copyright 2009 - Jim Lindell

Chrysler Executive also feels the squeeze of the recession.

Chrysler exec faces tax, loan troubles - Lien placed on Deputy CEO Jim Press' home for nearly $1 million in unpaid taxes -- and he's also sued for unpaid loans. http://money.cnn.com/2009/09/18/autos/press_lien/index.htm?section=money_latest
by Peter Valdes-Dapena, CNNMoney.com senior writer

"Due to the turmoil in the automobile industry and uncertainty surrounding our ownership, my request for a bonus payment was denied," Press wrote in a Nov. 11, 2008, letter on Chrysler letterhead. "I am attempting to arrange for a loan against my future bonus with my employer which would allow me to pay this loan off."

Those of you who remember Popeye should also remember another famous character associated with Popeye. That character is Wimpy. Wimpy is known for always saying:

"I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

Unfortunately, this sounds a little similar to Jim Press' desire to pay his debts with future bonus payments. This should be a wake-up call to all of us to manage our debts appropriately. From the smallest debtor to the largest (i.e. our Government) debtor. There comes a time to pay the bills and obligations. Hopefully, we (or our Government) are not put in a similar position to Mr. Press.

Copyright 2009 - Jim Lindell