Life Lessons

Being a positive person is a gift. If you do not have this gift naturally, then you must work hard to change your viewpoint from negative to positive. Let me provide a simple example. In the world of accounting in which I grew up, people often debate whether costs are variable or fixed. When costs are fixed, there is a good chance that they will be ignored because people believe they cannot impact fixed costs. However, we know that in the long run all costs are variable. This means that all of the decisions to incur any cost resulted from some choice at some point in time. Our personal lives are similar to this concept. We can look at situations as being happy situations or unhappy situations. Unfortunately many people choose to look at the unhappy situations as if they are fixed. Once they have deemed it as fixed or unhappy, they may choose to remain in the unhappy situation because they believe that it is unchangeable.

Our universe has a basic rule that for each negative there is a positive and vice versa. A coin has two sides: heads or tails. It is either night or day. Our attitudes, our outlook on life work in the exact same way. Decades ago there were management plaques hanging in the office that said, “Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?” The first stage in overcoming negativity is simply by changing your viewpoint. It is easy for us to dwell on the negative. It is hard work to look for the positive things. Can you remember the movie, “The Sound of Music” when Julie Andrews sang, “these are a few of my favorite things?” The concept of the song was to remember the happy or favorite things to help turn around your attitude. In the Bing Crosby film “White Christmas,” he sang the memorable song of “Counting my blessings.” As long as you have life, as long as you can move forward, you have a chance to emphasize the positive in life. By doing so you will enjoy life much more and you will find opportunities that you never believed that existed.

Copyright 2010 - Jim Lindell

This past weekend I was catching up on some yard work and had to burn some old wood. As I threw wood into the fire, I noticed several insects flee from the heat on the edge of the board toward the cooler center of the board. Obviously, this path determined their final outcome. I also noticed a couple of grasshoppers that leapt off the board. One of them landed outside the fire ring and went on its’ way to safety. The relationship to today’s economy and business managers is easy to spot. Managers that take the path of least resistance and flee from danger may inadvertently seal the fate of their organization by failing to act. Nimble business managers that confront the problems that occur may experience difficulties but they will be taking action to salvage the situation.
Does your organization:

1) Confront problems or do you avoid them?
2) Have a process in place that forces you to take action?
3) Know how to “cut your losses?”

Remember, no decision is a decision. Step up and take your best action, right or wrong, you will determine your success or failure as opposed to having fate decide the outcome.

© 2010 Jim Lindell

Many individuals struggle with the issue of forgiving others but not being able to forget the original hurt. The above continuum shows 4 levels on the forgiveness scale (forget, recall, nurse, remember) and the relationship to healing or hurting. When the original hurt is constantly remembered, the pain does not disappear. When the individual’s memory has been triggered by an event that the original hurt is recalled, he/she has an option to either dismiss the memory or to relive it and in essence bring it back to life – re-experiencing much of the original pain. If the memory can be dismissed, the healing can continue. The original forgiveness takes place between the “recall” and the “nurse” stage. When an individual is able to truly forget the original hurt, the pain is eliminated and the healing is complete.

Many times you can identify what stage a person is in based on the way he/she describes the memory.

• Forget – “Oh, I don’t even remember that you did that.”
• Recall – “Yes, that is true but we were able to work it through.”
• Nurse – “That time that you called me a “blank”, it still eats at me.”
• Remember – “I forgave them, but I haven’t forgotten!”

The secret to moving along the continuum is the individual’s own freedom of choice. Victim thought patterns will keep a person at the remembering or hurting side of the continuum. Acceptance thought patterns will move a person toward the forgetting and the healing side of the continuum.

We cannot change the past, but we can change the future.

© 2010 Jim Lindell – Thorsten Consulting Group, Inc.

There is a gold mine in retired workers. The recession has significantly increased the unemployment level in the country. Many "older workers" have left positions but still maintain significant lifetime and industry experience. Businesses should seek out retired workers that still want to contribute. Their financial needs may be lower and their flexibility may be higher. This can also be a "win-win" situation for the retired worker as well.

They need to make up for lost retirement savings.

They want to be valued.

They want to have purpose.

They want to lead a longer life - yes a longer life! Workers that are unprepared for retirement will most likely have a shorter lifespan.

When I was traveling, I saw a program on NC public TV that discussed the concept of an "encore career." I think this is a wonderful concept and more emphasis should be placed on this idea. People will live longer, need more financial resources and want to have a quality retirement.

(c) 2010 - Jim Lindell

Answer quickly:

Who was the 20th President of the USA?

What were the original seven ancient wonders of the world? (No, it's not Yul Brynner or Toshiro Mifune)

American Football has its' origin in what sport? By the way the sport that originated American Football had its' origin in what sport?

The first "Tonight Show" host was?

Who conquered the entire "known" world?

Sunrise

If you do not know the answers, please look them up. The significance is that great achievements are lost to time. Whether it be riches, accomplishments, glory, etc. They all fade. What is really important? Your family, your friends, your ability to help other individuals, your gift to leave this planet and its' inhabitants in a better state than when it was given to you. In short, you are a steward of the gift of life. You have been given this opportunity, live it well, live it fully and maximize your contribution to all those around you.

Copyright 2010 - Jim Lindell

Our culture has seen a significant increase in the use of coaches. In addition, there has been a significant increase in the different types of coaches. When people use the term coach, we typically think of a sports coach. This entry will discuss the essential characteristics that are necessary for the coach and the “coachee” to achieve the desired goals.

Many people would like to be a coach. Everyone thinks they have the skills to be a coach. Unfortunately many individuals that find themselves in the coaching role or desire to be a coach will never be successful in that role. There are four key areas that a successful coach must have:



• Knowledge
• Experience
• Ability to inspire
• Ability to teach

When it comes to coaching knowledge, there are two types of knowledge that can be addressed: 1) learned or book knowledge, 2) practical knowledge (which is typically gained through experience.) To adequately coach another individual, practical knowledge is more essential. The coach must be versed with techniques and formal knowledge which typically comes from the educational/learning environment. If a coach only possesses learned knowledge, he may be accused of the ivory tower syndrome.

A coach that does not have the experience will have difficulty providing the key wisdom and counsel along with the practical application to the student. Do you remember the Charlie Brown cartoon where Charlie Brown is teaching someone how to stand on their head? Linus comes up to Charlie brown and questions him saying, “Charlie Brown, how can you teach someone to stand on their head when you can’t do it yourself?” Charlie Brown replies, “Those who can’t do, teach.” Now I realize that this is an offensive statement, but in all forms of humor there's some underlying truth. A coach without the experience will not be as successful. It is important to note that some successful coaches can replace other types of experience for the task that they are coaching and be just as successful. This is one of the reasons that major corporations will hire a CEO from outside of their specific industry.

The ability to inspire other individuals is essential. A coach that cannot inspire other people to action is at a severe disadvantage. About the only individual that will work well with this type of coach is the person that is 100% self motivated. The vast majority of people do not have the skill set to continually motivate themselves all the time.

A coach must have the skill to transfer their knowledge and their experience to the person that they are coaching. In essence they must be an outstanding teacher. If a coach cannot teach, they will fail miserably. This ability to teach others also means the ability to understand that each individual has different learning styles. A one dimensional coach that continually uses the same approach will eventually fail.

As we consider these four attributes, all of them are essential for the coach to be successful. However the last two characteristics: inspiration and teaching ability are an absolute necessity. The next characteristic is experience. The last item is knowledge. Remember that practical knowledge is more important than formal knowledge. One caveat needs to be mentioned. There are certain professions like Physicians, Attorneys, or Tax CPAs, where the formal knowledge is an absolute necessity. Otherwise most non technical positions can be coached with experience or practical knowledge.

Now we will consider the person that is to be coached. There are also a set of characteristics that are essential for this individual to be successful. The four characteristics are:

• Desire
• Practice
• Ability
• Coachability

Any student that does not have the desire to accomplish the goal will most likely fail. Each student must understand that the accomplishment of a goal begins with one thing and one thing only - their decision to make a change. Without desire, a goal just remains a dream.

The next characteristic is practice. Whether it is a student doing their homework, an athlete preparing for a game or a match, or an executive preparing for a board meeting or a negotiation process, practice is a must. It is important to note that each person chooses to practice in a variety of ways dependent on their individual style. It is rare that a person can achieve a specific goal without spending the time practicing.

The student must have the ability to accomplish the goal. This is not to put a limit on the individual. However there are times when individuals are placed in positions that the only logical outcome is failure. They fail because the task or the goal is so far beyond their ability. Therefore it is essential for the student and the coach to recognize the ability as well as the untapped ability to make sure that any goal selected is within the reach of the individual.

The last characteristic is the student’s coachability. If the student is not willing to listen to other individuals, to take advice from other individuals, to listen to criticism from other individuals, he will have a difficult time being successful. Anyone who invests time coaching other people knows the pleasure of a student or an athlete that is coachable. It is very typical that when the coach describes this individual to other people he will state that the student, the athlete or the executive is wonderful because they are coachable.

If you would like to make a self assessment of your coaching skills or your ability to be coached, take the four key characteristics under either section, and rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 would indicate excellence in the particular characteristic; a 1 would indicate very bad performance. Also imagine how another individual of your choice would rate you on the same characteristics. Many times when we put ourselves in the shoes of someone else and envision their rating of us, we will see a natural difference. Sometimes it's more important to understand what we believe are the perceptions of others as opposed to our own self assessment. For any item that you wish to improve upon, I recommend that you take the following three steps:

1) list one thing that you will do to improve this area over the next 30 days,
2) list one thing that you will do to improve this area over the next 60 days,
3) and finally list one thing that you will do to improve this area over the next 90 days.

As a result your coaching skills or your ability to be coached should improve in the very near future.

© 2010 - Jim Lindell

Have you read "The Incredible Journey" or seen the movie? The plot from wikipedia follows:

(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Incredible_Journey)
The animals' owners, the Hunters, leave for England for university lectures and so entrust the animals to John Longridge, a family friend and godfather of the young daughter, Elizabeth. One fateful day, after John Longridge leaves for a 2 week trip of duck hunting, the animals, feeling the lack of their human companions, set out without a trace to try to find their way home to the Hunters. Mrs. Oakes, who is taking care of Longridge's home, doesn't find the animals and concludes that John must have taken them with him.

Incredible Journey

The animals follow their instincts and move westward towards home, dodging danger nearly every step of the way. But when Bodger, the old Bull Terrier, is attacked, they have to slow down. Tao, the cat, is separated from the others because of a rushing river and faces several dangers before he succeeds in finding the lost dogs. Along the way, the animals are offered help several times. When the Hunters and John Longridge come back from their trips they are devastated when they learn that the animals have gone. They try to find the animals, but after giving up almost all hope, the animals one by one appear out of the woods in a happy homecoming.

In many ways our country and economy is on its' own "Incredible Journey". We are like the pets in the story - on our own and in the wilderness. Our leadership is just as absent as the Hunters were. We have experienced excitement, danger and sadness (just as Bodger did) along the way: failed banks, lost pensions, foreclosed homes, lost companies, lost jobs, etc.

I would like to believe that we are coming out of the woods and that our "owners" are there for us. Unfortunately, the Woods may be deeper and darker and our owners are not as deserving as the Hunters. Anyway, I believe that we are only at the first intermission. Go pop some popcorn, grab a soda and relax - intermission is almost over and Part II is ready to begin. Enjoy the show!

Copyright 2010 - Jim Lindell

Let's get a little less serious and enjoy the upcoming holidays. At this time of the year, certain songs or movies immediately bring me into the Christmas Spirit. Merry Christmas Everyone! Let's spread some yuletide cheer!

I just finished a TEC Chair meeting (TEC is a peer group of CEO’s). Priscilla Kemp, President of TEC, reminded me of a famous poem that Mother Teresa hung on a wall in an orphanage in Calcutta. The author is unknown.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be Kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis - it is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.

Go forth and just be you - anyway.

Jim Lindell - 2009

I just twittered about a Police officer texting while riding a Segway and realized that I was too critical. People have just not learned where it is appropriate to text. So as an aid to society, I am compiling a list of inappropriate times not to text others. Everyone is aware of the consequences of texting while driving a car (train or plane). I will highlight some of the often overlooked items:

1) While sitting on the toilet - do you need a picture or do I have to explain this one?
2) while landing the lunar module - duh, no cell towers!
3) while being intimate with your significant other! I bet you want a picture - it is hard enough to get the correct symbols for emotional content. Heaven forbid you get the wrong combination and your partner finds out - Warning! Will Robinson Warning! (exception 1 - if your partner is texting also, it is OK; exception 2 - if you are texting each other, it is not OK)
4) while running a chainsaw - too difficult with work gloves.
5) while water skiing - it detracts from your attempts to look good.
6) while eating any sticky foods - the damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn keys might get stuck.
7) while skydiving - the force of the wind might slam the device into your face.
while playing Rugby - results in too many knock ons.
9) while at a Rugby party - you never want to miss any part of a Rugby party. Besides God gave you two hands, both equally equipped to hold a pint.
10) while in Church - unless you are texting God. (Please if you have God's address, please advise via text; also, it is perfectly acceptable to respond to any text message at anytime from God)
11) while scoring a TD on Monday Night Football - Yes T.O. that means you (However, if you can tweet "I Scored", consider how it will give the NFL commissioner something to do!)
12) while hang gliding - you may drop it on the head of a native who thinks that it is a gift from God. Thereby declaring all communication forever forward must be by texting. We have too little conversation as it is - SHUT THE DAMN THINGS OFF!!!!!!

If you have any other inappropriate times to text, please respond to this with a comment, THANKS!

Copyright 2009 - Jim Lindell

Recently, I had to pull a boat lift out of a lake in Northern Wisconsin. Unfortunately the waders would not protect me so I went into the water in my swimming suit. The outside air temperature was 30 degrees F. In a couple of minutes I turned beet red. I quickly hustled out of the water and went inside to warm up. Yes it was dangerous. I also had to pull the dock out of the water - at least I could use the waders. My boys and my nephew were there to help me. As we got ready to pull out the dock, there were light snow flurries. I called the boys out to the end of the dock and told them to stand still and enjoy the serenity. At that point in time, there was no other place like that. In the midst of freezing weather and bone chilling water, it was the ideal peaceful place to be.

Each of us have the opportunity to enjoy wherever we are at any given moment. The ability to become at peace at any given time and any given situation is a fantastic gift. The difficult economic times provide a unique opportunity to focus on what is important in our lives. The greatest wealth that we possess is our spirituality, our family and our friends. It is not in our possessions. Learn contentment in all stages of your life.

Copyright 2009 - Jim Lindell

This entry is written by Joan Jensen. Her son's name is Mack and this is her message to all of us. Mack was part of our Wisconsin Select Rugby Squad. Pay attention - this is heartfelt and crystal clear - Jim Lindell

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I am writing with the hope of bringing more awareness to an activity that seems to be on the rise among tweens and teens. Some of the names this activity goes by are:

Choking Game, Pass-out Game, Space Monkey, Suffocation Roulette, Scarf Game, The American Dream, Fainting Game, Purple Hazing, Blacking out/blackout, Dream game, Flat Liner, California Choke, Space Cowboy, Airplaning, Purple Dragon, and Cloud Nine.

This "game" is a dangerous and addictive activity that older children and early adolescents sometimes play to get a brief high. They either choke each other or use a noose to choke themselves. After just a short time, children can pass out, which may lead to serious injury or even death from hanging or strangulation.

Boys were much more likely to die from the choking game than girls.

Most of the children that died were 11-16 years old.

Nearly all of the children who died were playing the game alone when they died.

Deaths have occurred all over the United States; the choking game isn't limited to one area of the country.

I was not aware of this type of activity and didn't notice warning signs, until July 10, 2009, when my husband discovered our 17-year- old son Mack, dead in his bedroom.



Mack was a bright, articulate, honors student; a fit and very active young man, who worked hard and participated in many activities including band, swimming, wrestling, football, rugby; he also hunted and fished and played lots of chess with his dad. He was very open with both of us and had friends all over the state. He had teachers, coaches and adult friends that he talked to often. He knew how to have fun and wasn't a risk-taker or an over-achiever, but a very competitive young man. We talked to him often about having so much on his plate and asked if it was ever too much; he said that he was having fun and would back off if things got to be too much. My son was enjoying a great life and looking forward to so much more.

Being a typical 17-year-old, Mack was very confident and in part, that is what killed him. I think he thought that this activity was a game and not dangerous; a quick little high without using drugs or alcohol, and no one would be the wiser. Words cannot describe the devastation to his family, friends and community.
Here are some warning signs that someone is playing the choking game:

Discussion of the game or its aliases

Bloodshot eyes

Marks on the neck

Wearing high-necked shirts, even in warm weather

Frequent, severe head-aches

Disorientation after spending time alone

Increased and uncharacteristic irritability or hostility

Ropes, scarves, and belts tied to bedroom furniture or doorknobs or found knotted on the floor

The unexplained presence of shoe laces, belts, dog leashes, chokes collars, bungee cords, etc.

Petechiae (pinpoint bleeding spots) under the skin of the face, especially the eyelids, or the conjunctiva (the lining of the eyelids and eyes)

Parents, please learn more about this and talk with your kids; coaches talk with your young athletes; administrators please train staff, teachers talk with students; pastors/priests get the word out to your congregations; kids, please talk to your friends, classmates and anyone you know and continue to TALK, TALK, TALK about this terrible activity that is called a "game"; it can be brain damage, serious injury or death in disguise.

Other resources for more information: http://www.stop-the-choking-game.com/en/home.html or http://www.cdc.gov/Features/ChokingGame/ or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fainting_game

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Joan's personal wish -

If I can spare anyone else the profound sadness that I am experiencing over the death of my son through awareness, it would be a ray of hope for me and my family.

I would appreciate if you could forward this letter. Help me to catch people’s attention. Feel free to share this letter with your family and friends and have them pass it on also.

Many individuals realize that their level of retirement or even the onset of retirement might be delayed due to the recent economic fallout. There may be one special silver lining that comes out of this mess. Consider the following research excerpted from: From: http://ageing.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/38/5/531

The authors (Andiara Schwingel1, Mathew M. Niti, Catherine Tang and Tze Pin Ng) based their study on an initial evaluation and a 2-year followup evaluation with individuals that lived in Singapore and were over the age of 55.

Trained research nurses interviewed participants (non-volunteering retiree, volunteering retiree, and working seniors) on mental health status (geriatric depression scale, Mini Mental State Examination, positive mental wellbeing and life satisfaction).

Results: about 88% of seniors were retired (78% non-volunteering, 10% volunteering) and 12% were still working in paid employment or business. At baseline and 2 year follow up, and regardless of physical health status, volunteering retirees and working seniors gave significantly better MMSE cognitive performance scores, fewer depressive symptoms, and better mental well-being and life satisfaction than non-volunteering retirees.

The dream of just lying around after retirement may not be in your best interest. Use this opportunity to reflect on ways that you can continue employment (part-time) or volunteer. In either case, continued involvement may be the best thing to bring the "gold" to your golden years.

Copyright 2009 - Jim Lindell